Monday, April 5, 2010

The Lunch Table


Panda, Danda, Sen, Nike, Prabhu

Danda:(Looking at Sen's plate)Man , you are not going to waste food today ?
Panda: Its already a waste when he is eating it .
Nike: (Makes a shit face)The food is again horrible.The oil in the curry looks like the oil fields in Iraq..
Sen: Yes, actually I am thinking how the galz will eat this food.
Prabhu:Dont behave like kids.Respect your food.
Panda:Man you saw mayawati's rally ? wat a waste of public money man..
Danda:Behenji ne sab ki ma behen kardi..sale 200 crore..abe apni company ka turnover bhi utna nahin hoga..
Prabhu:Guyz..I condemn the way Mayawati spent 200 crores mindlessly .It could have been used for a lot of good work.Schools , hospitals..These politicians..I am seriously worried about India's future ..and ..again.. #$%%^&$#$

Sen Interrupts ::

Sen: hey guyz, look ..a new chick that side..she looks good man..
All heads turn..
Panda: you mf, thats an aunty..For God's sake..spare the aunties man
Sen: is it..ok.I din't knw..these days you cant guess a female's age
Nike: (Makes a zombie face) Guyz you know I fixed all cisco reported bugs
Danda: Abe I am yet to start on them. Btw prabhuji is going to treat us in Taj.
Prabhu: (Suddenly stopped eating )And when was that decided ? When did i say so..
Panda: hey..leave it..Its decided now..prabhu will treat us in sheraton..I think he is ok with it
Prabhu:What the heck..You guyz are impossible
Sen:Hey there will be a lot of chicks there..yes yes..we want in sheraton..(Looks around for response)

Nobody responds..again all 5 eating quietly for next 5 mins..

(Suddenly)
Danda:hey sen..chhota ba*** ..its we who need galz..you already have 2 gfs in hitech city
Sen:If you guyz are talking abt S and R , then mind you..They are just frens..nothing else
Nike: yes..they don't deserve to be galz..they can only be frens
Panda: Sen ko sab chalta hai..bf ..gf..everything :)..(grins)
Prabhu: Stop these things..you guyz have anything else to discuss..
Danda: Hey there is one joke i just remembered..its a hilarious one..Once a guy was there..then..
Panda:(Trying to distract him)danda, what time is the faluknama express ?
Danda: main kya railway enquiry hun ? fuck man..i forgot the joke.. (Everyone laughs)

Panda: (After some deep thinking) I am thinking of leaving early today..
Danda: abe tu aya kab be ? sale 12 baje to aaya..aur jaldi bhi jana hai..office tere sasur ka hai kya..
Sen: I wish the MD had a girl of my age..He couldn't hav found a more suitable guy than me.
Nike: he got a new merc yesterday man..I heard its 51 L..extravagent life
(All 5 made big shit faces listening to this)
Panda: yes man..and we are still in Autos and buses..Prabhuji..buy a car man
Prabhu:No need..public transport is the best medium ..it saves fuel and creates less pollution
panda: ooh god..hey bhagwan..ya allah..jesus..OK agreed..

Silence for next 2 minutes..

Sen: Guyz..I think we guyz are getting old..and still none of has a valid gf till now..we are a shame to software community yaar
Panda: yes man..I also think the same..Danda promised to introduce us to some of his beautiful frens..but he never did..disgusting..really
Danda:(Makes the shittiest face) Do I look like a pimp to you ?
Nike: Accha prabhu..U never told us about NB ? She is ur gal right ?..(Hints at Panda to give cover fire )
Panda:yes man..even we want to know..u never speak about her..where is she..how is she..etc etc..
Prabhu: Get your facts right ..Guyz don't create imaginary figures and associate me with them..I am saying..I dont know any such girl..
Nike:Abe prabhu to sharma gaye be..panda you say..how must be NB looking like ?
Panda:(Closed his eyes..thinking deeply..)Taking my vast experience and prabhuji's taste in to account . I think she must be a true blue bong..with a pair of thick spects .communist supporter..jhola bag..and she must be doing MA in english from calcutta university
Sen:bong chicks man..awesome..all sens..ria ,raima,nandana..super hot..I am proud to be a sen..
Danda: you are a fake bong u mf..1971 ke war time me Bangladesh se migrate karke aa gaya tha ye..
Sen: and you proxy gulti..chiranjeevi ki aulaad..chapu chapu..sale..
Prabhu: Guyz stop talking regionalism here..we are all indians first ..and we shouldn't indulge ourselves in petty things like..

Panda interrupts..

Panda:I am feeling sleepy now..They should allow 2 hours sleep break after lunch..
Nike:How many hours a day you sleep man ?
Sen: Your wife will be very unhappy and unsatisfied..
Danda:Abe tu apni biwi ke bare me soch..btw chhotu..Dont worry..We will be all there to help you :) (440 volts demonic smile on his niga' face)
Prabhu:You guyz started again..No personal attacks please.. Guyz I think we are done with our lunch..we should get up now..
Sen: wait for me..i am yet to finish..
Panda: fuck off you ba*** ..nobody is going to wait for you..anyways you are going to throw half of your plate again as usual..you know in Ethiopia..they would have hanged u daily for wasting food..
Danda:usko bol ke kuch fayeda nahin hai..btw..its a friday..wat plans tonight guyz ?
Nike:(gives one of his rare smiles) Panda..romanov or smirnoff ?? Hey lets have antiquity today.
panda:yes man ..sure man..Prabhu..u game for the party ?
Prabhu: Why the hell you ask when you know that I will say NO..btw wat are we waiting for ? Sen's lunch is over..lets go..
all: Hmmm..

At the washers:
Sen: (In a low voice) Abe panda,,jo bhi bol..wo aunty maal hai be..
Panda: Even I think the same man..but who will risk talking about her in front of Prabhu ?..again Prabhu bani sunna padta..
sen: he he..true true..

And the lunch is over.