Half Remembered Dream

""

Oh ..Its a coffee shop. Is it a coffee shop ? Yeah seems so.But they are selling ice creams here..Nah..Its an Ice cream parlor.No , wait a min .Its a coffee shop. Its called downtown cafe .Phuk,,my mind is not stable...Hmm , might be..I haven't slept since last 30 hours.

So whats sen doing here ? "chhotu , ek cup chai lana.malai maar ke".No I shouldn't insult him.The BMW arrives. Now how can somebody afford a BMW ?

Ok I must move to my table.She is waiting for me. She ..who ? The waitress..No.Let me remember..the phrase was "Damsel in distress".So is she expecting a free coffee ? I put my hands in my pocket..only sands.I guess that BMW is mine.

"You have changed a lot.Look at yourself , u look fat".
"so ?".
"I don't need you anymore.I hate fat people" .
"Wait..don't leave me.I love you. I have money".
"Die with your money , I am leaving".

She vanished.There is smoke.

The CEO of my company is arrested on fraud charges. So says the news paper.What else is on the table ? The menu card , salt and pepper. Who takes salt in coffee ?? Damn , everything is so expensive. I like Tetly. I can listen the pressure cooker whistle. But why are they preparing coffee in a pressure cooker..These people are insane.

I think this coffee shop is in Borneo.There is so much greenery all around. But I must not go out of the shop.There are cannibals waiting outside.Gross. I am vegetarian.

I am jobless now.I have to hatch a plan to rescue my CEO from the high security facility in Nevada deserts .Wait..let him die there. I don't care for him.He is an asshole anyways. But I need money.I have nothing but sands in my pocket.I am at the beach.

It is Bali. Julia Roberts is here. She is back from India after praying.She needs love. She has a lovely smile. Dido has a lovely smile too. But the waitress is more beautiful.She has a sharp nose. And she is tiny too . She talks a lot and she knows yoga . She likes monkeys. But there are none in Bali.

There is blood on the table. Seems somebody died. He was sniped. Dragunov SVU-A. Bull's head.I have a gun in my hand.Its a M1 Garand.I am head of a Panzer division. I have to destroy that bridge on river..which river ? Damn , whats happening to my memory ?

I hate violence.Only Bhushan likes it.I hate closed rooms and coffee without sugar. I can prepare excellent tea.I am owner of a tea garden in Darjeeling.Then what I am doing at a coffee shop ? Am I here to buy it. No , I think I came here to meet my girl.

slap !!!! "Panda ..uthe"

Who the fuck ? That didn't pain much though. My ear is still buzzing .Some M'fucker slapped me.

""

"Panda..Wake up bugger..Its already midnight. Go have your dinner."

Ummm..I opened my eyes. I am on my bed.Alive. I should dream a little more . No , I should get up and have some coffee.

Biographies:The Wall

No this is not about Jammy.I am the real wall.Its not hard to find me.I surround everyone.In and out.I can be made with Italian vitrified tiles,with marbles from Belgium or just cement,bricks, stones ,barbed wires or even the waste card-boards can also make me stand.In Tienanmen square some crazy guys tried to make a humanized version of me.But their wall turned in to a heap of dead bodies Later.

I am ageless.I was there in troy when Achilles invaded and destroyed me.I recovered & reappeared , this time on the banks of Daya.The Samrat painted me red with the blood of thousands of the kalingas'.Same man turned saint before my eyes.I blinked and found myself in Mughal court.I assimilated the beauty inside me.Can still feel her sighs sometimes.I got up next morning & was in agra.They say i stand as a epitome of love there.I got a little high at jallianwala bagh.People tried to climb me.Failed and left blood stains.

I brought people close . Then I created differences between brothers ,races,religions.I connected a country across length in china .I divided a country in Germany.I became strongest at the Swiss bank.Weakest in the flood zones of Bihar.I spread hatred & separated people when I got demolished in Ayodhya .At Berlin , I watched love of the long separated hearts when I was brought down .I tried to hold on hard when i was bombarded in Palestine.They made bullet holes through me in Jaffna.Government bulldozers crushed me countless times around the world.But i always survived.

I protected people.I saw a family growing before me.I wore the swastika mark.They decorated me for good luck in festivals.The baby leaned on me to walk its first step.Fell.Leaned again & learnt how to walk.He grew in to a boy.He put Sachin's and pam's posters side by side. I saw the aspirations of that young man & also his frustrations when he hit & kicked me.He got married.Some of his passionate moments with his woman were spent in my arms only.I used to listen to the secrets of the house.They said I had ears.I stood honestly with the family.I saw sons and daughters leaving old parents.I felt the tears of the old father as he rested his head against me & cried.He became alone, just like me.We talked. Old time friends again.

They made movies .Wall-E ,Deewar.But put reshma ki jawani poster on me .Sunny deol injured me in each of his movies.I never felt the pain.They posted flirty messages on me in facebook.The floyds cried of being just another brick inside me.Crazy dumb YOs wrote renegade RoX on my chest.I never complained.I remained static .Surrounding that old municipality school for years as I used to witness the Dilli chalo slogan being written over again and again countless times.Dr.Ali advertised his path-breaking anti-impotency medicines on my head.I became the canvas.People painted me ,some times with color and brush,Most of the times with urea enriched water.I din't complain.I became religious , political and social.Flaunted the aum, the cross and the crescent moon .The hand, the lotus and the elephant.The protests against fee hikes , domestic violence ,corruption & article 377.

Lenon said that my fall would bring peace to world.But i don't have death.I am invictus.Nothing and nobody can cease my existence.I was , I am & I will be.Between rich and poor , between hindu and muslim , between black and white.I become invisible.I touch lives and when I get old, I fall and crush them.And they erect me again.Still everyone loves me.I preserve order.Life keeps on growing around me.People live inside walls.Walls live inside people.Everyone finds his way through me.So the saying goes "Where there is a wall , there is a way".

So next time when you feel alone , try to talk with me.We can share some never ending stories.In silence ... just like the old time friends :).

MOHAA - reborn

Cometh the War ..cometh the man and then cometh MOHAA.


Who can forget that lovely year 2005 when all the 5thBlockersUnited used to go crazy after this one word .It was like a war cry .Be it 2 am in the morning or be it just the previous day of end sem exams.Those were days of guns and snipers.Of grenades and bazookas.Of destroyed village ,stalingrad and remagen . Of allied and axis . The cult figures "killmeesh"(Saxena) , "chhamiya"(Anurag) ,"lord"(Chandan) ,"chikki"(Rahul) , "miyan"(Majid) ,"Arnold" (Dharni) , "Mcube" (Murthy) and "sun_zey" (Verma). The gang of MMPO .The battle between 2nd years and baap-log . The screams and the slangs :).

Times have been changed a lot since then.People are distant and busy. But the spirit is still the same . In a quest to re-ignite that passion for gaming we initiated the magic again .So ,welcome the new players "balatkari"(panda), "Maverick"(danda) , "chhotu_on_fire"(sen) ,"Typhoon" (Bhusan)and "Pralay Nath"(Neeraj) [:)]. Hope this small start will again give the same real-time gaming adrenalin we experienced long back.

After some 4 long years I had my hands again on MOHAA today .Played for 6 long hours . Recollected all those old wonderful flashback moments and felt really amazing.There has been many modern versions of the same game released aftr 2005 , but whenever any 5thBlocker will remember any war game he really got addicted to ,it will be the classic Allied Assault for sure. It was not the game , it was the madness and bond that this game created makes it so special .

So this is an open invitation to any of you guys who wants to join the forces on weekends in Hyderabad , just contact me and be ready with ur laptop.Lets recreate that magic,team up and start afresh for a kill.

Miss u all 5thBlockers,2005. Long live the Honor , Long live MOHAAAAA..

Pic n Move

Declaration: The photographs supplied in this page are free for use as per GNU Free Documentation License 1.2 (GFDL) . ( As if you are interested :P)

Good Old Days ( The last time I took studies seriously , 2002-2004)

Engineer (2008), At least something to show off

Kirkit... Man I love the game :)

Inspirations@Work


That day I became the baby sitter for 2 hours

The Buck Stops Here


Apna Chhotu :)


Deepavali @ Nafees Manjil , Hyd

A Quiver Full of Arrows

Objects in the picture are slimmer than they appear :)

November Rain

I consider Mondays specially unpleasant in the calender, after the delicious freedom of Saturday and Sunday.By the way this weekend was something special.Though I slept for the scheduled 30 hrs ,the rest 18 hours were really eventful.we got the new DTH and broadband connection.I fell in love with Katrina Kaif again.And there was that wonderful evening with one of the master story tellers of our times at the Landmark store , Lord Jeffry Archer.But what interested me the most was the walk I took from office to home on Saturday evening.I wish I could rewind to that time again.

No doubt I stayed awake the whole Friday night and slept the whole next morning.Late afternoon I came to office, did some so called "pending tasks" and left before my inner self could start protesting.I prefered walking back as the weather seemed quite fine and cosy.

The shiny long winding road by KBR park is a nice treat to eyes.I saw a lot of pretty faces around.There was dew in the air.The atmosphere was grey and translucent.I could feel the breeze and smell the incoming rain.And suddenly there was a flash of lightening & the drumbeat of the rumbling clouds declared the arrival of a downpour.People started running for shelter.I grinned.I love the cold November rains.

So the sky broke into a passionate rain and began falling in torrents.The rain drops glittered as they stuck the sodden ground.I was watching the narrow channels of water formed by the roadside under the trees and followed them unless they submerged with one another to form a small stream. There were drops of water falling from my hair on my face. I have always enjoyed getting drenched in rain and it was one of those rare chances again .A light breeze played about the boughs & scattered stray leaves on the gliding stream below.I started walking along side the stream .Odd pieces of paper,leaves and sticks floated by .The wind blew in gusts, curving the fall of the rain. I found a point where the waters were swirling round and round in eddies.I inserted my finger in the center and tried to feel the flow.Gradually the stream disappeared round a bend at the end of the street.

It was past sunset and there was a soft red on west.It was growing darker by the moment.The rain thinned to a drizzle & the breeze played gently through the trees. The clouds were rolling back.There was a mild,balmy and delicious freshness in the air.The whole earth and sky became dark as a mass of smoke.That darkness at six o'clock was an event,romantic,to be remembered.

I thought of her, smiled and headed for home. My body was shivering in cold, but my heart was warm. A nerve of memory was touched. A day had just passed.

Dreamer

Its 3.30am.early morning.I am still awake.Don't know why.No reasons.I never feel like sleeping at the usual hours humans do.But i love watching people sleep. So people doubt if i see dreams or i am getting void of them. I confirm , i m a dreamer.

I dream a lot about future.Open eyes.Closed eyes. I dream of my village.There are ponds with fishes and trees with beautiful parrots . Birds who hum all the popular tunes of the day.Brighter days & darker nights.Fading stars,lanterns , radios & long black umbrellas .The autumn breeze.The falling leaves .The morning fog.Her whispers.Thousand expressions in those twinkling eyes.Love. Happiness ,serene and gracious. My world is a pleasant place and it wears one of its pleasantest aspects each time.I smile in my sleep.Must be very cute when i do so.

In reality ,I face people everyday.The likes of genuine unrest inducers.People who create more history that they can consume .I discuss the weaknesses of the world with the totally uninterested ones.I stay quite when she expects me to talk.I build virtual networks and plant isolation in between them.I walk the deserted roads at midnight,whistle to some self-composed tune and talk to myself.I become high and low and everything in between. I quarrel with 6 months old kayush over phone.Try to decrypt the sounds he makes and make my own interpretations.I give myself a lot of benefits of doubt.I make fun of danda & share my dreams with him.Its life. But its interesting.

I even think of an alternate future. A villa at Florence.Alone in the hills,far away from the crowd . The Villa "Sub-Rosa" would sound rather quaint and picturesque.And i suppose i must have a hobby.like..strawberry farming!! or something like wolf-hunting or may be marine research or say kite-flying.I will own a vespa to ride through the winding hilly roads.From my balcony will watch the sun setting behind the cold mountains while the gramophone plays Stevie wonders. Then there will be the black skies , the lightening all around & the cold winds.The first drop of rain falling on my face. Eyes closed , memory erased.Just peace of heart.

They say happiness is relative.For me its becoming absolute.No reference point.I have developed a tolerant feeling of indifference within myself.Someday I might want to trade my happiness.Someday I will come across a really safe thing, a bet that simply can't go astray.Then i shall put it up for all i am worth or rather for a good deal more than i m worth if anybody sold me up to the last button.

And it would be really awkward if it din't happen to come off.

F is the new S

"kifmat hi kharab hai fali"..
-- Charlie , Kaminey (2009)

I will never regret waiting for 1 hour for a transport to get back to my house at 1 a.m. on the deserted Lakdi Ka Pool stand last Sunday. Why ? 'Coz I was was still in a state of fuzz and feeling something "fexy" about the last 3 hours i spent in the talkie , yeah..i was totally amazed and captivated. I am a big Tarantino fan And I want to tell you Mr Tarantino , This is the brave new Bollywood.

No , this ain't any review . I don't want people to go to the movie with a pre-notion or expectations. Walk in with an empty mind ( but should be a working one :P) . I still can't work out why this movie works. It doesn't have cheap comedy , lavish sets or a teen-flavor , but everyone loves it. The main thing it has is us...as the real people , our mean sides . It makes you laugh amidst the ugliness of violence in perhaps India's first real dark comedy ( "Jane bhi do Yaaron" was another genuine attempt though ). The last shot , in which the characters walk with bullets flying all around reminded me of something . With violence all around you, you sense innocence caught in the crossfire . And finally you come away with a great sense of the pointlessness of it all. Many stories told separately and finally come together in a great revelation..discovering the "kamina" in ourselves.

They are taking chances and winning. It was Dev D . Now its Kaminey .The new age directors. Hats off :).

The Hangover

Its 2.30 am & I cannot sleep (-> implies that I m going to get up late for work).I have been watching the tube till late, gotta break the habit. So I am in a preacher’s mood today . I don’t know if this blog makes sense but a boozer will understand what I am talking about. After all Bevda-Bevda Bhai-Bhai :D.

I would like to announce "Let the bottle be uncapped".

Hmmm ..Romanov Red (Shilpa Shetty on the poster not on the bottle yet) .Its not my regular brand but I m trying it out of the novelty factor, something new, let’s try it out, maybe it will send me to heaven and back. And to remind you all , I have never hit a low point in my boozing career i.e. puking after drinks. I don't want to die choked on my own vomit, like Bon Scott of AC/DC, that scares me a lot.

So from now on, I am going to resist temptation to overdose on ETOH(c2h5-oh) or ethyl alcohol. 180 ml is the new magical figure, quarter, pauva, or nip, depends on what you call it. How did people arrive at a certain dose of alcohol? May be our forefathers experimented, I mean in the last 100 to 200 years before arriving at the magical figure of 180. Did they like booze the last night and measured it, and they found that they could still manage accounts the next day without having a hangover. 180 signifies many things, 180 degrees makes a semi circle.90 degrees and it’s a right angle, yeah with 90 ml I am standing straight and walking straight.

I have my quota of 180 in 2 hours, so I can be a little high even after 1 quarter, and I am not ashamed to admit it. I get high with very little alcohol; the sooner I admit that, the more fun it is for me, no more nasty hangovers.

How does alcohol work on the brain, even most scientists don’t know exactly, see such basic questions are there to solve. But the general consensus is that, alcohol sets of a random firing sequence in the person’s synapses. That gives us a feeling of being “HIGH”. So right now my synapses are starting to fire randomly, it’s a lovely feeling, almost floaty, you feel relaxed and hyper in a way, cannot be described one has to experience it to feel it. That’s why I like drinking; I don’t like the taste of alcohol but like the calming or sedative effect. Honest. Alcohol is not bad, but then its not good either, human behavior. I would urge people to try it one time without any inhibitions. It like cough medicine x 5 doses.

So I am going to love my liver and drink 2 pegs an hour and enjoy my AIM (Alcohol In Moderation), let me get back with the results of my Experiments with Alcohol. All I can say now is after the 4th peg is Cheers! to life. Alcohol is not as bad as say cocaine, its our well-earned right and I need to exercise it.

So its 180 ml of 45% proof for me, cheers all the way, yoooo hooo!.I feel like doing something crazy..like marrying Rakhi Sawant or..or like producing "Mika ka swayamvar"(if Rakhi can have it, why not Mika ??). And I am no drunkard. I’m on my fourth peg and I will sleep soundly tonight. I need to turn on to AC/DC now on my cell. Welcome on the high way to Hell :D.

Cheers !!

A pair of broken spects , Four half slept guys in office , A bedazzled sardar & A very frightened cat (MISRIP)

Now try to connect them :D !!! strange..it all happened last night only . MISRIP stands for "May its soul rest in peace "

Time: 4 AM in the morning.
I was sailing happily in my dreams with keira knightley. Nike must be dreaming about the vlan kernel module & danda ofcourse about a platter of pure south indian thali. ( About Sen , i am unsure. Even God doesn't know what runs in his mind). All were happy happy in their dreams.

Suddenly...i felt like keira was screaming..no..no..its a male voice..& keira disappeared . I could hear someone screaming in the other room. Was too lazy to open my eyes. The scream got louder and lo!!..finally when i opened my eyes with great difficulty , with my blurry vision i could see someone coming running towards me. Even i got frightened. Is this the ghost i saw in the last movie ? I don't even remember hanuman chalisa. GOD save me .and i got up in fear.

Trying to gain my conscious, i saw it was danda who was screaming at something and pushing sen out of bed. And the guy who came running was nike who is now standing on the sofa. I could see him jumping over it . It seemed like he din't knw wat was happening & was just afraid of danda's "cannibal holocaust" screams. And then i discovered my seconday vision ( my pair of spects which i left on the sofa before going to bed) has already been crushed nicely under his feet.

In side the other room , it seemed like danda calmed down slowly and sen's life was saved. We all rushed in to find out what has happened actually.

And to the greatest discovery ..it was all due to an unruly cat. It got inside through the open window and CATapulted a CATastrophe in our small house. While going back after stealing its food from the house , the stupid cat thought of having some fun with sen and danda & went inside the bed room. It went over the CATaphobic danda and jolted him . ( poor cat..little did it knew that it has to spend rest of its life in coma after it :P ) .

Add to that the sardar in the other room... God knows what was he doing the time it happened . But I could hear him saying the next morning "Abe tum log billi se dar gaye ???/ abe billi se dargaye.....abe sach me dargaye ??". I was too lazy to tell him to F@#$%&* that time.

So that was it..we four still in our sleeps and me half blind in addition to that , started for office as usual . Hope the entire cat community of the region has red marked our house after the shocking and horrific incident that one of their fellow brother witnessed. Amen ! :D

Kuch Batein Ho jaye .. T700

Wow ..now thats the second most sexy thing I've ever possessed ( 1st one..hmm..of course she knows :p) . Muwaahhhhh..

10 things I do / would love to do

1- Read a book with that tedious archaic language which I had kept off until I got the opportunity to avoid an even more disagreeable activity.

2-Wash clothes which I would have otherwise cast into that comfortable corner under the bed where it would remain unobtrusive except for the slight hint of odour which I consider acceptable .

3-Watch movies

4-Finish that last level in MOHAA that has been evading me for quite some time.

5-Cleaning my room of cobwebs and taking my time marveling at nature's powers of adaptation and how it enables so many living things to survive in my room.

6-Plan on how I will squeeze the most out of my remaining time, the task becoming tougher as each day passes by- the planning that is.

7-Downloading Umpteen episodes of "Mind Your Language", taking pains to resume broken downloads, starting over each time.( If I had that kind of patience with books I would be Dangerous!)

8-Learning song lyrics and listen to all those songs in my comp which I copied from LAN and to which I never ever listen to!

9-Plan my future and think about all the good things I am gonna do to make the world a better place, all the money I have coming, all the girls I am gonna meet, all the places I am gonna go to....

10-Write senseless posts on the blog