Crazy Heart

Ain't rememberin' good things just wonderful?

I recall those days when our lives were unusual and electric. I was in hell and you were just passing through. You knew what the risks were with me.And you took them.There was more curiosity and less sensibility.I used to be somebody, And you made me somebody else.We burnt with something close to fire. It was unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable . Days were careless.Life was easy.The winds became the gentle words.The clouds became the distant voices.And the "Moon" was a heart flowing in that clouded mirror.Living an illusion was so beautiful.

And I never realized that I was losing myself for something non-existent.Then there was that moment of truth.

Its been a long time since then .Now we sway to different rhythms. Lives lived without meaning or even directed hopes. No demonstrations of devotion.Freedom with no boundaries.The passage of time is measured only by Handmade stupidity. Life is easy this way also.But is this what I wanted ? Will lives ever change ?

Yes ,they will.Ice will break.Silence will be heard.Hearts will be crazy again. Waiting :)

MOHAA - reborn

Cometh the War ..cometh the man and then cometh MOHAA.


Who can forget that lovely year 2005 when all the 5thBlockersUnited used to go crazy after this one word .It was like a war cry .Be it 2 am in the morning or be it just the previous day of end sem exams.Those were days of guns and snipers.Of grenades and bazookas.Of destroyed village ,stalingrad and remagen . Of allied and axis . The cult figures "killmeesh"(Saxena) , "chhamiya"(Anurag) ,"lord"(Chandan) ,"chikki"(Rahul) , "miyan"(Majid) ,"Arnold" (Dharni) , "Mcube" (Murthy) and "sun_zey" (Verma). The gang of MMPO .The battle between 2nd years and baap-log . The screams and the slangs :).

Times have been changed a lot since then.People are distant and busy. But the spirit is still the same . In a quest to re-ignite that passion for gaming we initiated the magic again .So ,welcome the new players "balatkari"(panda), "Maverick"(danda) , "chhotu_on_fire"(sen) ,"Typhoon" (Bhusan)and "Pralay Nath"(Neeraj) [:)]. Hope this small start will again give the same real-time gaming adrenalin we experienced long back.

After some 4 long years I had my hands again on MOHAA today .Played for 6 long hours . Recollected all those old wonderful flashback moments and felt really amazing.There has been many modern versions of the same game released aftr 2005 , but whenever any 5thBlocker will remember any war game he really got addicted to ,it will be the classic Allied Assault for sure. It was not the game , it was the madness and bond that this game created makes it so special .

So this is an open invitation to any of you guys who wants to join the forces on weekends in Hyderabad , just contact me and be ready with ur laptop.Lets recreate that magic,team up and start afresh for a kill.

Miss u all 5thBlockers,2005. Long live the Honor , Long live MOHAAAAA..

Pic n Move

Declaration: The photographs supplied in this page are free for use as per GNU Free Documentation License 1.2 (GFDL) . ( As if you are interested :P)

Good Old Days ( The last time I took studies seriously , 2002-2004)

Engineer (2008), At least something to show off

Kirkit... Man I love the game :)

Inspirations@Work


That day I became the baby sitter for 2 hours

The Buck Stops Here


Apna Chhotu :)


Deepavali @ Nafees Manjil , Hyd

A Quiver Full of Arrows

Objects in the picture are slimmer than they appear :)

Shadows In The Mirror

I talk in my sleep No doubt!
I am crazy ,nuts and insane
Something within me grows deep
Grasping and breathless
A little dishonest,promises to break.

In the day,you hide,busy, getting on with your life
And I stay Silent, waiting for the night
And then comes my chance
You talk, just as I like…and I reply,
To the thoughts-To the sleeper At my side!

In my sleep I make believes play
I pretend I am many things
The love ,the feel and a little rage!
In my dream when I see you,
Like always there is a rush of a beautiful life!

November Rain

I consider Mondays specially unpleasant in the calender, after the delicious freedom of Saturday and Sunday.By the way this weekend was something special.Though I slept for the scheduled 30 hrs ,the rest 18 hours were really eventful.we got the new DTH and broadband connection.I fell in love with Katrina Kaif again.And there was that wonderful evening with one of the master story tellers of our times at the Landmark store , Lord Jeffry Archer.But what interested me the most was the walk I took from office to home on Saturday evening.I wish I could rewind to that time again.

No doubt I stayed awake the whole Friday night and slept the whole next morning.Late afternoon I came to office, did some so called "pending tasks" and left before my inner self could start protesting.I prefered walking back as the weather seemed quite fine and cosy.

The shiny long winding road by KBR park is a nice treat to eyes.I saw a lot of pretty faces around.There was dew in the air.The atmosphere was grey and translucent.I could feel the breeze and smell the incoming rain.And suddenly there was a flash of lightening & the drumbeat of the rumbling clouds declared the arrival of a downpour.People started running for shelter.I grinned.I love the cold November rains.

So the sky broke into a passionate rain and began falling in torrents.The rain drops glittered as they stuck the sodden ground.I was watching the narrow channels of water formed by the roadside under the trees and followed them unless they submerged with one another to form a small stream. There were drops of water falling from my hair on my face. I have always enjoyed getting drenched in rain and it was one of those rare chances again .A light breeze played about the boughs & scattered stray leaves on the gliding stream below.I started walking along side the stream .Odd pieces of paper,leaves and sticks floated by .The wind blew in gusts, curving the fall of the rain. I found a point where the waters were swirling round and round in eddies.I inserted my finger in the center and tried to feel the flow.Gradually the stream disappeared round a bend at the end of the street.

It was past sunset and there was a soft red on west.It was growing darker by the moment.The rain thinned to a drizzle & the breeze played gently through the trees. The clouds were rolling back.There was a mild,balmy and delicious freshness in the air.The whole earth and sky became dark as a mass of smoke.That darkness at six o'clock was an event,romantic,to be remembered.

I thought of her, smiled and headed for home. My body was shivering in cold, but my heart was warm. A nerve of memory was touched. A day had just passed.

Ekanta ra Samikarana

kichi bhul ra punarabruti
Eka dirgha niswasa

Kichi shruti kichi pratishruti
Sampurna nirabata kichi ta sunyata
Rati ra andhakara re hajijibara iccha
kichi micha tike sata tike aswasana
kichi bastabikata besi chhalana
ekanta ku chupchap sahijibara puruna anubhuti

Eka aparichita nataka re nayaka ra bhumika
nirmana ra moha , dhwansa paijibara bhaya
jitibara akarshana , haribara ashanka
prathama barsha re bhijibara ananda
Kaha akhira marichika re budi jibara anubhaba
chuna chuna hasa ra sitalata , topaye luha ra usmata

Antardwanda re nijaku harei basibara bhaya
Pratarana ra khela re muhan muhin habara sahasa
Nijaku bhrama re rakhibara biphala chesta
Kichi haji jaithiba kshana ra artanada
Eka parajita atma ra niraba pralapa
Samaya ra samapti , antakarana ra subharambha

Marichika ra chakrabuyha ru mukti ra sandhana
aganita prasna ra mayajala re uttara khojibara prayasa
Abhula atita, asamahita bhabisyata
Bhanga goda re thia habara pratikhya
Puni eka nistabhda rati re swapna ra amantrana
Puni eka sabdahina kahani ra janma

kichi bhul ra pryaschita
Eka dirgha niswasa

Dreamer

Its 3.30am.early morning.I am still awake.Don't know why.No reasons.I never feel like sleeping at the usual hours humans do.But i love watching people sleep. So people doubt if i see dreams or i am getting void of them. I confirm , i m a dreamer.

I dream a lot about future.Open eyes.Closed eyes. I dream of my village.There are ponds with fishes and trees with beautiful parrots . Birds who hum all the popular tunes of the day.Brighter days & darker nights.Fading stars,lanterns , radios & long black umbrellas .The autumn breeze.The falling leaves .The morning fog.Her whispers.Thousand expressions in those twinkling eyes.Love. Happiness ,serene and gracious. My world is a pleasant place and it wears one of its pleasantest aspects each time.I smile in my sleep.Must be very cute when i do so.

In reality ,I face people everyday.The likes of genuine unrest inducers.People who create more history that they can consume .I discuss the weaknesses of the world with the totally uninterested ones.I stay quite when she expects me to talk.I build virtual networks and plant isolation in between them.I walk the deserted roads at midnight,whistle to some self-composed tune and talk to myself.I become high and low and everything in between. I quarrel with 6 months old kayush over phone.Try to decrypt the sounds he makes and make my own interpretations.I give myself a lot of benefits of doubt.I make fun of danda & share my dreams with him.Its life. But its interesting.

I even think of an alternate future. A villa at Florence.Alone in the hills,far away from the crowd . The Villa "Sub-Rosa" would sound rather quaint and picturesque.And i suppose i must have a hobby.like..strawberry farming!! or something like wolf-hunting or may be marine research or say kite-flying.I will own a vespa to ride through the winding hilly roads.From my balcony will watch the sun setting behind the cold mountains while the gramophone plays Stevie wonders. Then there will be the black skies , the lightening all around & the cold winds.The first drop of rain falling on my face. Eyes closed , memory erased.Just peace of heart.

They say happiness is relative.For me its becoming absolute.No reference point.I have developed a tolerant feeling of indifference within myself.Someday I might want to trade my happiness.Someday I will come across a really safe thing, a bet that simply can't go astray.Then i shall put it up for all i am worth or rather for a good deal more than i m worth if anybody sold me up to the last button.

And it would be really awkward if it din't happen to come off.

Shaken & Stirred

Miles of magic
Scandals on the lips
Plain temptation
And imagination
Vodka
Is there more on his mind?

Smiles of magic
Her eyes
Black Magic
Divinity
Vodka
Is there more on his mind?

Times of magic
Sky changed color
sunshine blue
cloudy black
He may have vodka
And rain, soon
Is there more on his mind?

F is the new S

"kifmat hi kharab hai fali"..
-- Charlie , Kaminey (2009)

I will never regret waiting for 1 hour for a transport to get back to my house at 1 a.m. on the deserted Lakdi Ka Pool stand last Sunday. Why ? 'Coz I was was still in a state of fuzz and feeling something "fexy" about the last 3 hours i spent in the talkie , yeah..i was totally amazed and captivated. I am a big Tarantino fan And I want to tell you Mr Tarantino , This is the brave new Bollywood.

No , this ain't any review . I don't want people to go to the movie with a pre-notion or expectations. Walk in with an empty mind ( but should be a working one :P) . I still can't work out why this movie works. It doesn't have cheap comedy , lavish sets or a teen-flavor , but everyone loves it. The main thing it has is us...as the real people , our mean sides . It makes you laugh amidst the ugliness of violence in perhaps India's first real dark comedy ( "Jane bhi do Yaaron" was another genuine attempt though ). The last shot , in which the characters walk with bullets flying all around reminded me of something . With violence all around you, you sense innocence caught in the crossfire . And finally you come away with a great sense of the pointlessness of it all. Many stories told separately and finally come together in a great revelation..discovering the "kamina" in ourselves.

They are taking chances and winning. It was Dev D . Now its Kaminey .The new age directors. Hats off :).

Drag me to hell

hii...
hello..howz u ?
m fine.. hey do u know wats the difference between a Samurai and a ninja ?
nah..not really..All i know is Samurai is a clan of royal guards & ninja is a clan of assassins.
not assassins alone..ninjas are spies also. :)
ok cool..but y u asked ?
JLT. so u say ..how was ur match ?
Dont ask :P. he he. We lost. Even after making 160 runs in 20 overs..
ok..how many did u score?
only 6..but my strikes rate was 200..i came for batting in 20th over with 3 balls to go.
Interesting situation .. u were left wth only 3 balls :p.
U r sick :).
hmmmm..
hmmmmmmmmmm...
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..
ok chuck it..so say smthing else ??
tell me why do we live this life?
hmm..I don't live.. I just exist & I exist to continue my existence. y do u live ?
To feel. hmmm.. you can never know it. but it's as vital as breath. And without it, without love, without anger, without sorrow, breath is just a clock... ticking.
Wow..I am touched. :p
m not finished.. Seriously..u never feel ?
Does that matter ..Atleast for now ?
ok I wont ask..btw jammy is back to team. m so happy..i just love him.
Cool..he is a classy batsman..and i think he can take the full middle order responsibility.
u r so boring.
Thanks :) . but i dont want to entertain u.
no but i m feeling pretty boring now..can u sing a song for me !!!
R u crazy ? i never sing to galz.Why dont u go and watch some movie .. Did u watch kaminey ?
yeah..I saw ur pic :p. The plex was houseful . but i took the chhota fortcut :P. Got 3 tickets in black for 500 bucks.
yeah..Even i saw it in black.but it was worth the money.Very very fexy :).
y dont u do some exercise and have a body like fahid kapoor ? .. he is so dafing .
ok..Enough now. I can't take more "ph"s. And i think m fit and fine. And i can think about that kinda figure if sumbdy can offer me 1 crore for it.how much does ur dad hav ?
We are poor ppl yaar ..I am always forced to fly in economy class ..Dad is very kanjoos.
So anything else u watched ? U hav anything to recommend me for this week ?
Hmm..yeah 2 3 new flicks. But u wont like..they r more like girly movies. Confessions of a shopaholic .do u like horror movies ? thn check out the movie "drag me to hell". sam raimi.Its awefome .
ok will try. Anyways i m signing off. ll call u tonite. And plz meri maa..remove that jai ho caller tune. I m tired of it. plzzzz..
will try :p . take care & miss me :).
ok i ll :). Bye .tc.