Peace

"I want to go to a place thats warm and without a memory"

-- Shawshank Redemption

Peace is when I am on a high.

Peace is when I find my bed clean and ready to hug me .

Peace is Saturday morning newspaper.

Peace is when I can't hear anything though everyone around me is crying and screaming.

Peace is when I stand in the middle of the road with rain falling in torrents around me and there are droplets on my face with my eyes closed.

Peace is when my roommate plays "Hotel California" and I listen to him like a kid .

Peace is when I hear that she is going to tie knot with some "Puppy Cool Dude from XXXXXX".

Peace is when I think that now all my future life , I will have to imagine her in her wedding attire with a different man (considerably less smart than me, the narcissist in me will ensure that) .

Peace is when we go out on a walk at 3 o'clock in the morning on the lonely roads of the big city.

Peace is when I lock myself in my room with lights off and "November Rain" playing in the back ground for hours.

Peace is when I watch a lot of violent movies with blood and gore , decapitations, disembowelments, arms and legs torn off and tossed aside.

Peace is when I smile , and smile and keep on smiling at nothing.

Peace is in realizing that I can never be complete , content and perfect.

Such is peace :).

Blast from the past

A lazy Jan afternoon, 2007:

After donning the tie of Chandan Sarangi , Anand's white-collar shirt and Rahul's shoes , I went straight for the first ever HR interview of my life. Half awake , after a night out. If not awesome , it was quite a decent experience (After that I have never appeared for any HR interview till date). Excerpts from that small incident:

May I come in ?

Yes , Good afternoon Mr Panda. please have a seat. Nice to have you here.

Good afternoon sir and Same here :) (With a biig fake smile)

So should we start. And we can be all informal and frank here. I love frank and honest people Mr Panda. But after serving 20 years with Indian Army as a Lt Col., I am finding very less of the sort in the corporate world. Anyways, feel free to interrupt me anytime you wish.

(Continuing with the same fake big smile) Ok .

So first of all I am a bit confused about your full name ..Is panda your surname ?

(Now that was the most bullshit thing I was not expecting. I have a rather difficult sounding name I agree. But after explaining the history/meaning to 1000s of people 1000s of times, it was really getting irritating.But ..He is the interviewer.So I set myself about the task of showing my exemplary skill of making small talk) Yes sir. It actually means ...(blah blah blah)

Good . So Mr Panda, what do you know about Embedded Systems ?

Absolutely nothing . I just know that my mobile phone is an embedded system.

Ok, Thats a good point of information to start with.So lets go through your resume...(1st page)Looks nice ..(2nd page) Good. (Last page). Seems your grades are falling after each semester. What might be the reason Mr Panda ?

Simple sir. I am not concentrating much on studies.

(He was not expecting that blunt answer. so he paused..and after a second ,smiled ) Thats a brutally honest answer.So what are you concentrating more on , son ?

Some more important aspects of life sir .Personal ones.(Just to make him stop from digging further into my studying habits.)

Ok , lets move to some general questions. So where do you see yourself five years from now ?

(I tried recollecting what Anand told me as answer of this "always asked idiotic question" in a HR interview. But mixed it up and gave some garbage answer.)

Ok son. I can understand. You are still very young . You have a lot of time to think over this thing.

Yes .(So then and there only my first and only "five year plan" got its conclusion).

So tell me. For a start up company like us, whose satisfaction according to you is more important ? The Employee's or the Customer's.

(mine , mine and only mine) Both I think. But the customer always has the money. So its 49-51 kind of thing.

So tell us something more about you Mr Panda. Your interests, hobbies etc etc.

(Hope he never checked my Orkut account , 2007. Interests: Females , Hobbies: Sleeping , wasting time) I am an avid movie lover and my hobbies include "blah blah (a long list)".

Quite impressive. So what was the last movie you watched ?

(Recollecting from the previous night out) Full metal jacket. Stanley Kubrick.

Great one. We used to watch a lot of war movies in our army days. And thats one of my favorites. So you like war movies ?

Yes sir. I love wars. err.. war movies. I am a great fan of Indian military.

Hmm. I can see, you are wearing an Indian Navy tie.

(Am I ??!! rechecked .. No doubt it was from Chandan Sarangi.) Yeah. Got it from a friend :).

So why do you want to join a start up company like us ? What potential value do you think you can create for the company ?

(Ans1: You are offering a handsome salary, Ans2: No idea). Blah blah blah....

And after 15/20 more minutes of same old set of questions, the interview was over. But frankly , He was a true gentleman and I was too sleepy .

The same evening after the results were out:

Hey babes. I got a good news.

I have a bad news. My neighbor's pet kitten died this morning. I loved it so much.It was so cute. I am really sad :(.

Deepest condolence . But don't worry. I will get you a kitten in the summer holidays once I am in Bhubaneswar.

(With her usual flares) I do not want to meet you and spoil my awesomeness you know :P. But I am gonna miss the cute little thing so much :( . Anyways , you said you have some good news. whats that ?

Oh , never mind. Tell me more about that kitten :).

Yeah. You know it was like ... ... ...

And we continued.