Insignificant thoughts of an average mind

I am kind of tense..My third attempt to publish a post today( i have a lot of time to waste) ..Hopefully will be successful this time. The last two attempts were just half hearted in-sincere attempts to get things going.

What should i write..??
hmmm...i won the quiz club biz quiz today..and i ignored( or rather tried to ignore) her today yet again..and i bunked classes again today (though i got proxies in all..thanks to NIKE & CHHOTU :P)...and yeah i received my CAT hall ticket..( i call it CAT hell ticket )..i m getting more passionate about POTF ..listening to them like 100's of times again and again..yeah at last..i declare i have a lot of time to waste..thank God that my wasting time is not polluting others ( aimed aimlessly :P)

grrrrr...it doesn't look like a blog post..still i don't have more patience...who the hell cares here??

Finding Neverland!!

On top of the world.....I was.....not too long ago.....not much too long ago......

I've been through a lot of ups and down in my short sample of a life,just bout 20 years of it,more so than a lot of people i know....BUT....never,Never has fate taken me so high up and then thrown me back down with such vehemence....

In my own self contained realm i thought i had everything....all the power i could handle,all the love i could bathe in,all the respect i needed to be happy....
"Human beings define their reality through misery and suffering.
The perfect world was a dream that their primitive cerebrum kept trying to wake up from."

I woke up.
To failure.
In every sense of the word.
Total collapse.
Reduced to rubble all the efforts.Efforts dating back 7 years ago.Seeds of a resplendent future sowed way back....since 9th grade.In a life of 20 years, 7 of the approx 15 years i have a memory of is a lot of time....
Every thing that I counted on.
In many ways I believe,total collapse is better for you in the long run than strings of smaller failures.It lets you start from ground zero instead of trying to salvage a faulty foundation with an ailing scaffold of determination.
It's just that,I think its OK to be lost.
As long as I know and admit to myself and everyone that I'm lost,I think I'll be fine.

I'll find my way someday.....but right now I have a life to live.
And I cant spend it thinking of my lost sense of purpose.

What should I do .. ??

There are three kinds of people in the world.

First, whose careers are arranged. I've never understood that, and I am sure they also never know what they're doing.

Then there are those who fall for their hearts and marry the careers they love - to success or to failure, but till death. These select few, I believe, are the most fortunate people in the world.

And lastly, there are those who become engineers for their parents, or for money, or play it safe and go to the IITs or NITs .

These are the most unfortunate ones in the world... and they don't even know it. Until one day, riding the fast train of life they run into the mirror, and are faced with the toughest fact of all. "I am 21". What do you do when you are set into a career which the society forced into you. What do you do when you realise that - this is not what I wanted to do. And worse when you dont know what you really want to do. And you keep asking yourself - What should I do? What should I do?

A desperate and failed attempt to be intellectual !!

" Wine and memories, grow precious with time..."



What do you do when you don't have a dream?? When I say 'dream', I mean it in the simple, literal sense and do not attach any pretentious, grand implications to it. It is something like you go off to sleep hoping to be transported to a wonderful world of make-believe - where everything you desire for is there for the taking ( like "pamela anderson" at your bed side ..or you getting an "EX" grade in STLD from prudhvi mam , or you passing an exam without taking "chits" or copying from the next guy :P)- only to wake up to the harsh realities of life, and the realization that one more dream-less night has just passed away!! ( and you find your "room mate" , an obvious "D" grade and a "blank exam sheet" instead )

"Missing dreams!! What a duffer!!"- you might say. Others might agree too. ( or might not also..in NITW its common)

You might be true, but I definitely miss my dreams. I miss them because I believe that they are a part of me( and because i never sleep at night :P ). They are a reflection of my inner self(if ever there was one..i doubt). In fact, more than being a mirror of your personality, they have a distinct identity of their own. Look at it this way - there are 24 hours in a day, 16 out of which you usually spend being "yourelf"( really ???). You work and you rest, you laugh and you cry, you smile and you lie - all the while describing to the world the "person" that you are.

Ever wondered what happens during those 8 (??) hours when you go to sleep?? For, even though you close your eyes, the world doesn't. Even though the "you" as you know it lies dormant, the world doesn't. And that's when the "other you" wakes up from its sleep and manifests himself to the world through your dreams.

If you look carefully, you will find that dreams are as much a dynamic and evolving persona as you are ( yeah ..i hav done a lot of terrible things in mah dreams as far as i remember :P). Try to remember your dreams 20 years ago( i was just 7 months old that time..so cant recollect...may b u can). You will realise how juvenile your dreams were and how little sense do they make now. Don't you think that your dreams have grown along with you? Don't you feel that your dreams laugh, cry, smile and lie as much as you do??

I don't know about you - but, you bet I miss my dreams...( and its morning 6 :30 now..i hav been doing nothing since last 6 hours...i should now go , sleep and DREAM :) )

p.s. : The bracketed things were inserted after i wrote the rest and started reading it ..

Dil Dosti Etc..

It was half past 3 on the clock and just in 2 more hours it was going to be the sunrise.It was time for me to go to bed (as usual). Just a bit of curiousity drove me to click on the netscan search button .And I found the feast of that night.

Dil Dost Etc..

heard about this movie before. On rediff it was a thumbs down and on TOI another thumbs down .I say “screw u both rediff and TOI”. It was really a nice movie that made my night out a worthy one. the film juxtaposes the 'new/ liberal' and the 'old/ conservative' in our society. and shows really
“When you are young, you believe, the possibilities are endless...”

Getting in to movie,in a nutshell it’s the story of a “confused” “careless” and “c” lad who is “spoilt’ “simple” and “starving” for love. Meet Apurv (Imaad Shah)Son of a wealthy father and a “more spoilt” mother.he steps in to DU and these character follow him in the movie.

The best thing to love about in this movie is the charecter Sanjay mishra (Shreyas Talpade). Oh man I just love him. An absolute genius actor. As a student leader is his fame and name in DU.Mishra mishra is the anthem.. He represents the romantic and the idealist who steadfastly pursues his political goals.protective and “less philosophy more practical” type character. He makes a challenge with Apurv if he could lay down 3 women in one day and that made the movie.

The three female leads - that of a prostitute (Smriti Mishra), a school girl and a rich model, provide a myriad of social and emotional backdrops to the film. Vaisali (Smriti Mishra) plays an attractive but sharp-tongued prostitute. She claims never to get emotionally attached to her customers. Then there is the precocious school girl Kintu (Ishitta Sharrma), who coquettishly remains noncommittal to Apurv's flirtations and plays hard to get. Prerna (Nikita Anand) is the rich South Delhi babe who aspires to become an international model, and yet finds herself attracted to the earthy and charismatic student-politician, Sanjay.

And finally the narrator himself Apurv.This guy is a “confession of a dangerous mind”.He makes life miserable for him but does not care.”Its nothing yar” is his answer to his each blunder. He carves for love every moment but never gets it.

Prakash Jha did a splendid on bringing the real life of DU campus and the innate introspection of a confused mind. The youth and how danger it is when not guided.Still the movie could have been done a lil better by cutting those cheap song scenes and a little more deep study of Apurv’s character. still kudos to jha.( and of course to Shreyas Talpade)

if u have watched ‘haasil” and had a taste of campus bloody politics scenario. watch this movie to know the student life in DU and explore the very nature of friendship, male bonding, voyeurism, sexual perversion, love and betrayal.

Recommended for watching.

My journey..from "Nowhere In This World " to NITW

The journey started like this.

The guy next door on his second ever train journey of life arrives at kazipet station,A lot of expectations ,excitement ,hope and a lot more things on his mind. There was a spark in his eyes and a "i can do it" spirit in heart. And he entered NITW.

He finds himself dazed and confused in all the maddening rush that surrounded him. Applying to the student committees, participating in extra-co-curricular activities and the startling indifference of the teachers began to sink in. Then started the part of life that is called "engineering".

Ragging, funda, score ,count, mess, saru, srinu point, ciggi, lite ,zero by four , MMPO ,bhai , intro, assignment , night outs , notes , sleeping in class , fundoo , frustoo , gulti ,boka ,tambi ,mallu ,ma**** , cafti calling , alu bhajji ,bonda , sad "phulka" ,calling home at 3 in morning , avoiding seniors by hiding in toilets ,minors ,mids ,again minors , zero preparation , morning ch** sports classes , attendance shortage ,sad looking females,cheating , copying ,folders , bearing the unbearable music in next room , snoring roommate, easy chair , treat ,birthday bumps ,more bumps ,cake on face, state fights,sad looking females again , hyderabad , class bunk, again hyderabad ,again class bunk, state in/outs , mass bunk, HOD ,department, frustoo HOD , frustoo department ,golden night, freshers ,party, ratna, horrible dancing, internet ,yahoo,orkut, angel, heart blooming :p, gardes (degrades)-D grades ,labs , excuses , proxy , 13th block, 5th block , 6th block, 10th block, computer ,all time idle ,all time sleeping ,project , running to project guide, one night stand before exam , chit design center,movies and movies and movies ,quizzing and more quizzing, senti ,hours on cell phone ,library fines, break up ,three and a half year of engineering.....

This is a confession..of the sublime mind..

some times i feel a sense of betrayal. I feel that god somehow betrayed me, teased me to take this path and just as the time came to cross the river, left me drowning in the gushing flow of water. Add to it all the taunts that teachers constantly give on failure... whether on being provoked or due to something happening in their personal lives, none of it withstanding, I felt lost and fed up with life. But we-r-angels...and NITW teaches you that spirit.Even those who are not fittest can (could) survive.

Its doesn't matter what people say and think, whether they label me as a rebel or a freak, but what matters is what i want from my life and how i am going to get it....Inspite of how bad things may get, I will never stop believing in destiny, God and life.And of course NITW.

Introduction..they say panda eats more than bamboo shoots

There are millions of people with billions of opinions about others in this world... should i care? People may think whatever they want of me... should i base my personality on that? Should i try to be someone who i really am not just because others have that opinion of me? I don't want live my life trying to live someone else's life... the only expectations i work for are myself... no one and nothing else matters... People may think of me as sweet, smart, arrogant, foolish,childish, a flirt, a funny person, a temperamental fool ,a sport, or any of the countless adjectives used to describe others... do i care? HELL NO! I AM WHAT I AM...and i say i m sublime...[:)]