Finding Neverland!!

On top of the world.....I was.....not too long ago.....not much too long ago......

I've been through a lot of ups and down in my short sample of a life,just bout 20 years of it,more so than a lot of people i know....BUT....never,Never has fate taken me so high up and then thrown me back down with such vehemence....

In my own self contained realm i thought i had everything....all the power i could handle,all the love i could bathe in,all the respect i needed to be happy....
"Human beings define their reality through misery and suffering.
The perfect world was a dream that their primitive cerebrum kept trying to wake up from."

I woke up.
To failure.
In every sense of the word.
Total collapse.
Reduced to rubble all the efforts.Efforts dating back 7 years ago.Seeds of a resplendent future sowed way back....since 9th grade.In a life of 20 years, 7 of the approx 15 years i have a memory of is a lot of time....
Every thing that I counted on.
In many ways I believe,total collapse is better for you in the long run than strings of smaller failures.It lets you start from ground zero instead of trying to salvage a faulty foundation with an ailing scaffold of determination.
It's just that,I think its OK to be lost.
As long as I know and admit to myself and everyone that I'm lost,I think I'll be fine.

I'll find my way someday.....but right now I have a life to live.
And I cant spend it thinking of my lost sense of purpose.