Fear

Show courage and the world stands behind you. Fear and you are alone.

I am five.I am afraid of my new school. I fear getting lost in the market. I hold her hand tight on the busy streets. I cry each time somebody shouts at me. Everything is too scary and I am a coward.

Me... I wear shorts. I am nine years old. I am the bravest guy in my school. I can chase stray dogs like an expert. I have super powers which I am yet to discover. I can run faster than the train. I can easily trace people with haunted pasts in the crowd. I have a tiny metal crucifix .Mind you, not ordinary.

I am in middle of fourteen and fifteen. I still wear shorts. There is a little hair growing under my nose. Makes me feel confident. I can correctly predict my every reaction .I respect communism. I think I have lived a simple and honest life.

And I haven't yet sinned much to fear.

I am nineteen. Careless about pain or any threat of a danger. I have the bestest friends in the whole world. I am nineteen and I am in love. I meet her. She is white as snow.That brightness blinds me each time I look at her face and begins erasing every trace of self confidence from my memory. I want this time to stop. They say if you slow your breathing, time slows down. But there is very less time and even lesser oxygen.

I have acquired the fear of losing myself. And her.

Its twenty five now. I am often having this weird dream. I can hear somebody screaming out there. Worse ,my body has been cast in cement with airbags and seatbelts. In chess, it's called zugzwang... when the only viable move is not to make any move. I stay still. Next moment , I want to break free and rise. I want to chase that bear and I am not afraid anymore, but when I wake up, there's no bear.I'm not a bear hunter. I'm an executive at a firm .

And I fear only Mondays.

P.S. - In real world, that kiddo in the pic is a brave lad. He is called Kayosh .